Cease & Desist

  • David Fitzsimons is a full-time dreamer
    working and living in London.

Cease & Desist

Cartoons rejected by Private Eye
doodled by Dave

23/03/23
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30/03/23
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23/03/23
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23/11/23
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23/11/22
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23/11/22
Rallies erupt across Scotland after ruling says Scottish parliament cannot hold independence referendum without Westminsters approval.
23/03/23
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23/03/23
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23/03/23
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23/11/22
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23/11/22
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23/11/22
Jeremy Hunt unveils his budget filled with nasty surprises for tax paying public.
27/10/22
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20/10/22
Boris at work… not as if being Prime Minister he has anything better to do
20/10/22
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20/10/22
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20/10/22
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27/10/22
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20/11/22
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10/11/22
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20/10/22
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27/10/22
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20/10/22
With Jeremy Hunt as Chancellor and de facto Prime Minister, I guess we’re all left wondering what’s Liz Truss doing…
10/11/22
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20/01/22
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23/12/21
Boris at work… not as if being Prime Minister he has anything better to do
26/01/22
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20/01/22
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30/12/21
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23/12/21
Omnicrom variant takes over from Delta and rapidly spreads across the country, continent and globe.
26/01/22
Revelations that Boris Johnson held not just one, but two, birthday parties in June 2020, with up to 30 people at them. Rules at the time - on 19 June 2020 - banned most indoor gatherings involving more than two people.
30/12/21
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20/01/22
Boris faces a leadership challenge as new revelations from Dominic Cummings that the Prime Minister was fully aware that the parties at Downing Street contravened his own governments Covid rules.
26/01/22
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02/12/21
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15/12/21
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17/06/21
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02/12/21
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06/05/21
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25/02/21
Supply issues hit the Coronavirus vaccine.
09/12/21
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09/12/21
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12/12/20
Arcadia Group goes into administration, following allegations of mismanagement by Philip Green.
09/12/21
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02/12/21
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25/02/21
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02/12/21
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15/12/21
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28/01/21
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28/01/21
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11/02/21
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11/02/21
The Home Secretary, Priti Patel, confirmed that when the new quarantine system starts next week, those travellers who are able to return from ‘red list’ countries will have to pay £1,750 per head to self-isolate – covering accommodation, transport and testing.
28/01/21
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11/02/21
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28/01/21
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11/02/21
President Trump becomes the first US President to be impeached twice.
25/02/21
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25/01/21
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25/01/21
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25/01/21
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14/01/21
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21/11/20
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14/01/21
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14/01/21
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27/10/20
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14/01/21
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27/10/20
Boris refuses to extend free school meals in England over half-term, as Councils, cafes, restaurants and voluntary organisations really round to fill the gap.
14/01/21
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14/01/21
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20/10/20
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27/10/20
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20/10/20
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14/05/20
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25/06/20
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11/06/20
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25/05/20
On May 25, 2020, George Floyd, a 46-year-old black man, died in Minneapolis, Minnesota, after white police officer Derek Chauvin knelt on his neck for almost nine minutes while Floyd was handcuffed and lying face down on the street. As Floyd begged for his life and repeatedly said "I can't breathe".
25/06/20
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25/06/20
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14/05/20
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28/09/20
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27/05/20
So Boris doubles, then triples down on his commitment to keep Dominic Cummings on as his advisor despite the man who came up with the lockdown strategy completely ignoring his own rules, resulting in the entire country asking, ‘Who exactly is in charge?’.
28/05/20
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28/05/20
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25/06/20
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29/04/20
Carrie Symonds and Boris Johnson announce the birth of their son, Wilfred Lawrie Nicholas Johnson.
11/06/20
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04/05/20
Too harsh even for Private Eye. As Editor of the Daily Mirror Piers Morgan ordered a revenge exposé on Ian Hislop (Private Eyes Editor), but his journalists failed to dig up any dirt even with cash incentives offered to Hislops’ friends, colleagues and acquaintances for anything that could be splashed on the front page.
28/05/20
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28/05/20
After I listened and obeyed the Governments advice, locking myself away for the best part of two months, completely detaching myself from friends and family, Dominic Cummings, the man responsible for the implementing the lockdown, was spending his sightseeing around Durham with his family whilst infected with what he suspected was fucking Coronavirus.
28/05/20
After I listened and obeyed the Governments advice, locking myself away for the best part of two months, completely detaching myself from friends and family, Dominic Cummings, the man responsible for the implementing the lockdown, was spending his sightseeing around Durham with his family whilst infected with what he suspected was fucking Coronavirus.
22/04/20
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14/05/20
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14/05/20
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14/05/20
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28/05/20
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11/06/20
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22/04/20
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22/04/20
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14/05/20
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22/04/20
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22/04/20
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22/04/20
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10/05/20
Boris Johnson's lockdown release condemned as divisive, confusing and vague, but hey at least this may be the beginning of the end.
01/05/20
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29/09/20
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14/05/20
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10/03/20
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29/02/20
Boris is going to be a dad again... the vagueness around the number of kids he has grows.
10/03/20
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06/03/20
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29/02/20
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28/02/20
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28/02/20
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06/02/20
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06/01/20
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02/01/20
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08/02/20
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06/02/20
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19/08/19
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29/08/19
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029/08/19
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28/08/19
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08/10/19
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22/07/18
It’s two days before the new Conservative Party leader is announced. Not only will they be inheriting the title of Prime Minister, but also the headache of Brexit, the Iran crisis and the country’s most fractured political party.
08/10/18
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08/10/19
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24/10/19
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01/08/19
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01/08/19
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05/07/19
David Camerons autobiography, the least anticipated book work of non-fiction this year.
01/08/19
Boris Johnson becomes Prime Minister. Sigh.
01/08/19
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01/08/19
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22/07/19
In a few days Boris and Carrie may find themselves moving into Downing Street. Time for a wee spring clean.
01/08/18
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19/08/19
As we career towards the 31st of October with one quarter of negative growth under our belt new finance minister Sajid Javid adds a sprinkle of delusion to the Brexit conversation..
03/08/19
In a Daily Mail interview Priti Patel shares her thoughts on the justice system. Previously she has voiced her support for the death penalty.
18/07/19
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05/07/19
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18/07/19
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27/07/19
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18/07/19
It’s the last week of the Conservative Party leadership race, and we’re all waiting for Boris to self-sabotage his mammoth lead.
18/07/19
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18/07/19
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18/07/18
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27/10/18
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27/06/19
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27/06/19
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05/07/19
Downing Street attempted to withhold sensitive intelligence from Boris Johnson when he became foreign secretary, the BBC has reported.
01/06/19
With five months until the UK leaves the EU, we’ve no idea who will even be the Prime Minister in charge come October 31st.
24/05/19
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24/05/19
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31/05/19
With just a week before Theresa May abdicates, the leadership contest for the Tory party already has 13 contenders. With such a fragmented party it’s going to be a messy race.
24/05/19
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08/07/19
The ballot for a new Conservative leader and default Prime Minister has been open for two days. With one candidate taking a massive early lead the entire country braces itself for the outcome.
30/05/19
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13/07/18
In just a couple of days Theresa May will step down as Prime Minister and her Brexit deal will be in tatters.
12/10/18
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11/03/19
The Tory MP refused to confirm how much he had earned from the investment firm he founded after Channel 4 estimated he received £7,000,000 over the last two years.
23/05/19
British Steel goes into administration putting 5,000 jobs directly, and 20,000 indirectly, in jeopardy as result of Brexit related issues while the government stands by and does nothing.
18/04/19
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21/05/19
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10/05/19
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09/05/19
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15/05/19
Theresa May announces that a fourth vote on her EU exit deal (which ties Britain to the EU customs union and single market and fails to provide assurances one the Irish backstop) will happen in June. You never know it might get through.
16/05/19
With the realisation that the Prime Ministers position will be untenable if the fourth vote on her Brexit deal fails, Boris Johnson waits zero seconds to announce he’ll be running to replace her.
09/05/19
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22/05/19
Nigel Farage had a milkshake thrown over him while canvasing for the European elections. It was a £5.25 milkshake from Five Guys reported The Independent. Money well spent I’d say.
09/05/19
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06/03/19
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23/05/19
So we’re leaving Europe, but we’re voting to elect new members to the European Parliament. I guess it makes sense to someone.
01/03/19
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13/03/19
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05/03/19
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27/02/19
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14/03/19
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13/03/19
With all parties fragmented and divided, the voting public are sorely missing the voice of common sense.
03/10/18
Theresa May declares that austerity is over at the Tory Conference in Birmingham. About bloody time.
05/03/19
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01/11/17
Remember that time the Health Secretary tried to fillet the NHS.
02/02/19
6 Nations time, and Ireland had an opportunity to make a political statement on the rugby pitch. Unfortunately they bottled it, losing 20-32.
27/02/19
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26/02/19
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20/02/18
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18/02/19
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26/02/19
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25/02/19
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25/02/19
With almost a month until the scheduled date for Britain to leave the EU, it feels like people are only now starting to realise the full implications.
25/07/18
The week the Jewish Chronicle, Jewish News and Jewish Telegraph printed joint front-page editorials calling any potential Corbyn-led government an “existential threat” to Jewish life in the UK.
26/02/19
The day I doodled this Labour announced it will back a second referendum on Britain's EU exit – it only took Jeremy Corbyn 23 months to voice a credible Brexit policy that might actually work even.
19/02/19
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20/02/19
A fragmented party, MPs jumping ship, and a fast approaching Hard Brexit, at least someone is prepared to give the Prime Minister something she wants.
21/02/19
As more MPs defect from the two main parties, will Chuka be able to mould his group of Westminster dissidents into a credible party without his ego getting in the way?
18/02/19
Chuka Umunna and six other MPs announce they’re leaving the Labour Party to set up at the Independence Group. Just a couple days later three MPs joined from the Conservatives. My initial cartoon may have been a touch premature.
27/02/19
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03/10/18
Theresa May walked out to Abba’s ‘Dancing Queen’ to give her closing speech at the Tory Conference in Birmingham. A juvenile display from someone who's priority is meant to be leading the country.
7/12/18
As the Conservative Party struggle to be relevant maybe they should rename themselves.
15/11/18
The week the pound plunged against the dollar and the euro - I’m thinking of switching all my sterling to monopoly money to save it from any further depreciation.
12/12/18
Theresa May survives a no confidence vote and remains Prime Minister much to the distain of some Brexiters.
12/10/18
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07/12/18
Despite his shares cratering, Jeff Bezos is still richest man alive.
23/08/18
While everyone is worrying about economic stagnation and the rise in the cost of living post Brexit, Bloomberg is stressing about the impending sperm shortage. Sigh.
30/06/16
Social media allows politician to thread the fine line between staying in touch with their constituents and becoming a satirists dream.
09/12/18
British Prime Minister Theresa May is “a lady out of her depth” and “reaching the very edge of her skills,” Belgium MEP Philippe Lamberts announced. As expected no one jumped to her defence.
13/02/19
And the drama plods on. Theresa May promised MPs a final, decisive vote on her Brexit deal with the EU - but not until she has secured changes to the Irish backstop clause, which is not going to happen.
19/10/18
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24/07/18
David Davis resignation as Brexit secretary at the beginning of the month left a vacant spot for karate blackbelt Dominic Raab to step up to the negotiation table… which lasted all of two weeks with the Prime Ministers surprise announcement that she’s officially taking control of Brexit talks. Unlucky Dominic, but maybe it’s for the best.
07/12/18
Coming here and delivering us presents. Who does he think he is.
26/08/18
The week MP Jacob Rees-Mogg sparked fresh debate about the Irish border after Brexit when a video appeared online where the he suggests we return to checks "as we had during the Troubles".
12/08/18
This was the week Boris Johnson used his newspaper column to compare all women who wore burqas to “letterboxes” and “bank robbers”, winning praise from the alt-right, and the support of Trumps right-hand man Steve Bannon.
16/08/18
EU’s Brexit negotiating team fear they are being bugged, with the UK team getting hold of secret files “within hours” of them being presented to EU officials. So who dunnit? Well, no one’s actually going to take credit for it but we all know who was behind it.
13/07/18
President Trumps visit will be remembered for mass protests, the baby Trump blimp floating above the roofs of Westminster, and the orange one arriving late for tea with the Queen. Possibly one of the most disastrous trips to the UK by a foreign dignitary of all time.
03/10/18
The day the Conservative Conference finishes in Birmingham. Theresa’s said her bit. Boris has said his bit. And everyone else is still none the wiser what will happen in six months time.
05/08/18
The pound has plummeted to record lows against both the euro, and Mark Carney is probably cursing himself for extending his contract as Governor of the Bank of England for another year and the country careers towards a car crash Brexit. It’s a bit like being stuck on that bus in ‘Speed’ and we’re all sitting here waiting for it to explode.
30/06/16
So David Cameron has dramatically resigned, number 10's vacant, and Boris Johnson's dream of becoming Prime Minister is shredded by Michael Gove announcing he’s running for leader of the Conservative Party. Cut-throat politics at its best.
05/12/18
European leaders have signed off on the Brexit deal negotiated with Theresa May over the last 19 months, so now the Prime Minister can take the deal to Parliament.
14/02/19
David Cameron has finally finished his memoirs. Life after Westminster must have left him at a bit of a loose end.
06/07/18
Unveiling her Brexit White Paper at Chequers Theresa May tried to convince her cabinet that this was the framework that would see the country exit Europe in as dignified a way as possible. Confronted with too many compromises Boris Johnson claimed that defending the plans was ‘like polishing a turd’. Surprisingly he resigned three days later.
03/10/18
The day the Conservative Conference finishes in Birmingham. Theresa’s said her bit. Boris has said his bit. And everyone else is still none the wiser what will happen in six months time.
30/08/18
Eighteen months ago Theresa May triggered article 50 to officially kickstart our exit of the EU. But nothing’s really happened since. Sure, they’ve had a few meetings, drank some cups of tea, but have the really done anything? No. So where does that leave Britain with the countdown clock quickly ticking towards the official exit date of March 2019 – No one has a clue.